Twilight

by Stephenie Meyer
Finished December 7, 2009

What an excruciating book. My theory: this book is meant for teenagers of the social networking age. If you like teenagers telling you about what Jessica said and then what Angela said and then what Mike said and then what Tyler said, this book is for you. The book would have been half the size if Stephenie Meyer had cut down on Bella's blow-by-blow account of making breakfast, doing homework, thinking about Edward. Conversations between the two gooey young lovers are recounted word for boring word.

I suppose that if you're a high school or middle school girl, this is your life, plus vampires.

Things I hated about the book - the boring narration by first person Bella... the boring conversations...the teen girl type mythology of vampires.

They drive cool cars! They are incredibly good looking! They smell great! They can be noble and good if they want to! They can stop you from becoming a vampire by sucking the vampire venom out of your veins with their venomous mouths! They sparkle!

More things I hate....
I hate the way that Edward smothers Bella. He wants her to live a normal life and takes her to the prom so that she can experience it like any other girl, but during the prom, he takes her outside to sit on a bench alone with him.
Bella describes herself as clumsy and lacking balance so often that I wondered if she had some medical condition.
The vampires play baseball in thunderstorms so that people can't hear the thunderous noise that occurs when a vampire hits a ball with a bat or when one vampire collides with another. Somehow, I think that the crack of a bat wouldn't be any louder with a vampire than it would with any other player.

I stuck with the book until the end because I wanted to find out what happens. The story ends abruptly. Instead of reading the next book, I went to Wikipedia and read a synopsis of the three sequels.

Team Edward? No. Team Jacob? No. Call Van Helsing, somebody!